Apr 01
(April-Fools_-Day-2022)-5-Best-Reasons-For-Banning-Remote-Work-FOREVER

5 Best Reasons For Banning Remote Work FOREVER

With more and more people getting vaccinated and boosted, more and more companies are also pushing for people to go back to the office. Yey!

Now that this working from home trend is almost over, here are five reasons why it should stay gone – for good.

The pandemic is over.

The pandemic is over

Sure, covid19’s still around. But everyone who needs to come into the office has already been vaccinated anyway.

And if they happen to bring the virus home to their unvaccinated babies or immunocompromised elderly parents, too bad.

At least they got to collaborate in person.

Remote work endangers jobs.

Remote work endangers jobs

I’m not talking about workers who rely on active physical spaces or companies in industries that just aren’t compatible with remote work.

No, I mean those middle managers whose job it is to crack the whip and make sure everyone looks busy. Ditto for those higher-ups who steal ideas and output from their subordinates to pass them off as their own.

What will happen to them in an environment where you can’t build a career on “looking busy” and actually have to produce results? Tsk, tsk. Let’s have a moment of silence for the poor souls.

It’s bad for office culture.

It’s-bad-for-office-culture

Don’t you miss the good old days?

When it was all about keeping up appearances? Employees leaving their desks past 6 PM, half-eaten bagels and empty coffee cups littered across the surface? Having to message their supervisors after work, in the wee hours, or on the weekends – just to stand out at work?

(Even if they do little more than browsing Amazon, 9gag, or wikipedia the whole time – and send messages that just rehash everything they’ve already discussed.)

And why, oh, why would we want to get rid of a culture where the ones who kiss @$$ are the ones who get ahead? Regardless of how little they actually contribute to the company?

Enabling remote work is expensive.

Enabling remote work is expensive

…for people who’ve already spent a fortune acquiring, furnishing, or leasing big office spaces on a five, ten-year contract. How else are they going to recoup their investments??? Oh, the indignity!

Who cares about everyone else who gets to save loads on petrol, commuting, rent, expensive lunch options, fancy office clothes, and so on?

We want everything to go back to normal, right?

Remote work is unproductive.

Remote work is unproductive

So what if most employees actually prefer to work remotely? When has listening to what your people want actually led to anything good?

Everyone knows that people need to meet in person to accomplish anything. (Never mind if the actual work mostly takes place over project management apps, Google documents, and Slack.)

And where would we be without all those whiteboard sessions where the lead speaker just goes on and on for hours?

If your employees don’t like it, tough. It’s not like it’s that hard to replace them, right?

 

Just in case you haven’t figured it out yet, this entire article is a satire. Happy April Fool’s Day! (Check the date, mate.)

We here at Remote Staff steadfastly believe that remote work benefits everyone. We’ve been supporting many AU SME’s who’ve grown their businesses by matching them with top remote workers from the Philippines for 15 years and counting.

So, if you’re ready to accept the reality that the digital future is upon us -and take your business to new heights, call us today or schedule a call back and let’s get started.

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Disclaimer: The above article was written according to the information available as of press time.
All opinions and beliefs expressed herein do not necessarily reflect those of Remote Staff's, its employees, subcontractors, clients, and affiliates.

About The Author

Serena has been working remotely and writing content for the better part of the last decade. To date, she's written for Pepper.ph and Mabuhay Magazine, among others, and has churned out more than a thousand articles on everything from The Basics of Stock Market Investing to How to Make Milk Tea-Flavored Taho at home. Hermits, aspiring hermits, and non-hermits with interesting project propositions may email her at serena.estrella10@gmail.com.

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